Terrible Twinge

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Terrible Twinge (2000) Post 166

Terrible Twinge is the story of Ceridwen and Rhys Morgan, twins of around eleven, who have always been quarrelsome to the point where they are the subject of regular discussion by their parents and the teachers at their school. Ceri has reached a point where she is actually tired of the sniping and one up-man-ship. Their rivalry in sports has reached a point where Rhys is now pulling ahead simply by virtue of being male and having bigger muscles, and his gloating is so annoying Ceri wants to disengage. She realises she has come to dislike him and fantasises about being an only child. When she school receives funds for a six week extension program, offering Drama and Outdoor Education, both twins incline towards Out-Ed but Ceri deliberately picks Drama simply to avoid being with Rhys. The principal, needing to fulfil gender-balance requirements, shuffles several Drama-inclined girls into Out-Ed. This lands the Terrible Twinge as the Morgans are known back in the same activity, so the principal puts Rhys into Drama.

Ceri flourishes on the rope courses but Rhys, having failed to bargain, whinge and protest his way out of Drama, decides to make himself so annoying he'll be tossed out. This fails, when the principal, awake to his ruse, says he won't be tossed out, but coached every lunch time until the deliberate failure ends. Annoyed, Rhys is forced to comply but finds to his alarm that he has been stuffing up so long he now can't do well even when he tries...

Ceri, finding him moping after being mocked at school, feels reluctantly that just as she's been encouraging Trish, a natural wimp, out on the rope course, now she must, for the sake of her family pride, encourage her terrible twinge. The teachers are astonished to find Ceri has joined her brother voluntarily in detention and is actually hearing his lines.

This story has an interesting aftermath. Not long after it was published, I had an email from a man named Rhys Morgan who had a sister named Ceridwen... he was from New Zealand, I think, and was quite tickled to find his name in a book. Obviously, I was being aggressively Welsh at the time I wrote this. (I am fascinated by names and sometimes go a bit OTT just for fun.) This one came out under my Nicholas Flynn pen name.

Speaking of Welshness... many years later, in Long Ago Love Songs, (Post 96,2016), I Welshed out again in the following poem...

      The Swan of Llanlewellyn

Llanlewellyn’s a coal mining place

Where the badge of the locals

 is a smudge to the face

Where the voices peal on a daffodil night

And a leek in a cap is considered just right

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

The valleys and the coal are a grand cliché

And the men all sing

‘cause that’s just their way

Where the daffodils bloom

in a bitter spring

Then a leek on a banner is an obvious thing

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

Now I am as English as my mum’s tea tray

And a buttered Sally Lunn

and a long wet day

So what was I doing

in this leek-ridden place?

 I’m not a miner (and it’s no disgrace)

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

I’d come for a job

that’s not what you expect

It got some odd looks and really no respect

In my old home town so I answered an ad

That called for my talents…

(I must have been mad)

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

I came to the place of too many ells

(And how to pronounce it I could not tell)

The station master shushed

with a wet sort of lisp

And the cloud on the mountain!

No filmy wisp

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

I hardly understood the address I was told

‘Cause the accent of the valleys

is a sound to behold

Full of LL W and W again

With a Y at the end

that just tangles my brain

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

While I was there

with my disbelieving stance

I happened by a pond;

it was just by chance

And dancing on the grass

was a pirouette swan

With a crown of feathers.

That didn’t belong

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

I sneaked up closer

and I scrooched behind a tree

So the dancing swan couldn’t quite see me

And I gawked at the leaping ethereal bird

Who just didn’t look like a coal miner’s girl

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

She finished in a graceful

drooping sort of way

It meant that the swan was dying

you could say

And I felt silly tears

prick the back of my eyes

And a great big sniffle

caught my nose by surprise

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

The drooping swan

bounced up with a squawk

An unavian Oh made me cringe and baulk

I really didn’t wish to show

my guilt-full face

I wanted to sink

out of sight without a trace

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

But we don’t always get the exits we intend

So I squared my shoulders

and courage did pretend

“[1]Pwy wyt ti?” asked the white-clad swan

And she stared at me 

with expression un-fond

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

“I don’t understand,” I said to the swan

And I gestured to her feathers 

and the pond beyond

She lifted up her arms in an elegant curve

And rose to her toes

as I gathered all my nerve

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

I rose to my toes and I strutted and I leapt

In my hiking boots I was not quite so ept

But I soared in the air and landed by her

And offered my arms for the pas de deux

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

“[2]Eich bod yn ddawnsiwr!”

said my swan at the end

“[3]Llyn alarch.” But I couldn’t comprehend

I said, “Swan Lake!”

and she answered, “Odette,”

I responded, “Siegfried,” 

and that’s how we met

   Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

It’s thirty years on and my swan princess

(Whose real name is Gwynneth… 

in case you didn’t guess)

Runs a ballet academy in Llanlew-er

I still can’t pronounce it 

but we’re still a pas de deux

Llanlewellyn is aggressively Welsh

I’d have never believed

Had I not seen

For myself

I’m still as English as my mum’s tea tray

But I’m glad I met my swan

by the pond that day.

---

[1] Who are you?

[2] You are a dancer

[3] Swan Lake

About the Blog 

Sally is Sally Odgers; author, manuscript assessor, editor, anthologist and reader. She runs http://www.affordablemanuscriptassessments.com and Prints Charming Books. (Sally is me, by the way, and I am lots of other things too, but these are the relevant ones for now.)

The goal for 2017 is to write a post a day profiling the background behind one of my books; how it came to be written, what it's about, and any things of note that happened along the way. If you're an author, an aspiring author, a reader or just someone who enjoys windows into worlds, you might find this fun. The books are not in any special order, but will be assigned approximate dates, and pictures, where they exist. If you enjoyed a post, or want to ask about any of my books or my manuscript assessment service, leave me a message.